ADHD Study Tips: Practical advice for Mum with struggling teen
Sharing a recent Q&A with a parent whose teen is lacking focus, organisation and feeling overwhelmed in case it helps your teen too.
Hey Parents,
Last week I had a chat with a lovely Mum whose 13 year old daughter is like many of my readers’ teens — full of potential but struggling to overcome common hurdles like lacking focus and organisation, not willing to take advice from Mum and Dad, and just generally feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work high school loads onto kids.
It’s not uncommon for parents with ADHD teens to get in touch, which I imagine is because they are dealing with the usual high school struggles but the difficulty is even more pronounced.
I’m a lawyer and a study-enthusiast, not a doctor or psychologist, but I think my study tips resonate with parents of ADHD / neurodiverse teens because they are so practical and easy to implement.
I have reproduced our chat below for those of you dealing with similar issues (edited for anonymity).
If the situation resonates with you, let us know in the comments. This community of parents can help and support each other.
You can also get in touch with me directly anytime — my email is clare@cramlab.org — I’d love to hear from you.
Thanks so much for reading.
Clare
Hi there,
My daughter has ADHD and autism. She finds focus really hard as lots of work is difficult. Getting on task is hard. And doing the stuff she finds less interesting. Being organised etc.
She’s super bright but doesn’t do anywhere near as well as she can as she doesn’t revise until last minute — as she doesn’t really have a system, and so it’s overwhelming / won’t take any help from me as she’s 13 and knows best, and doesn’t answer exams in time limits or have a strategy for answering questions — and answering what they’re looking for.
Being a parent is hard. She also missed a lot of school last year due to family circumstances — but is catching up just fine. She’s pretty bright just can’t revise.
I don’t have much money at all thanks to moving house. I wonder if I might ask how much you charge? Sorry to be so blunt!
Clare
Hi Beena thanks so much for your message. I'm sorry your family has been through so much. That's all really tough.
I don't actually charge anything as I have not yet opened up one-on-one tutoring since having a baby six months ago (although that is my plan soon). Subscribers to my Blog can sign up for free or for $7/month, paying subscribers get access to more stuff.
However, I am happy to offer up my thoughts for your daughter. Do you think she would be receptive to a study timetable? Having a plan for the week, particularly in the lead up to exams, is such a help for knowing what you need to do, accountability, stress levels, everything.
I wonder if your daughter uses practice questions / looks at past exams. These are the best way to practice getting ready for tests and exams.
I also wonder how she approaches study. Does she set herself a time limit? Does she set a little goal for the study session to work towards (eg answering 10 questions / writing 1 practice essay)?
Does she study for small chunks of time or sit at her desk unproductive for ages. Figuring out a manageable amount of time she can actually focus for might help. It could be 15 minutes, it could be an hour. What matters is what works for her.
I would also say that 13 is very young as far as serious study goes. I would try and think about lowering the pressure at this stage, and approach her study with more of a long-term view.
There is plenty of time before she sits GCSEs, and so for now I think setting smaller, bite-size, achievable study goals might be the way to go. Using incentives could help too (e.g. sticking to study plan for the week = something nice on the weekend).
I would focus on progress and being supportive / encouraging versus forcing an overwhelming plan on her when she is not ready.
Oh, wow! Massive congratulations. Thank you so much. It’s the actual doing it. How do you break down tasks.
She reads and tries to remember things. Forgets where the resources are. When homework is due in etc. Executive function is very hard for her.
She’s at a pretty academic school and doesn’t want to fall behind. She got a bursary and scholarship to attend a private school and is keen to do well.
They do have a good balance at school, lots of fun, but also they’re all pretty bright. She can do the content — just exams really throw her a lot. She gets flustered and misses timings and misreads questions etc. Thanks again I will have a good look at your website resources. Thank you so much.
Clare
For organisation, could you try to work together to make a system for filing things etc that works for her? As in, if she is part of the problem-solving it might have a better chance of sticking?
As far as exams go and getting flustered, it is hard. They are stressful. I get it. This is why doing more practice questions / past exams could really help — being familiar with the format of the questions and types of questions should help. Lessen the surprises. Knowing what to expect.
Sometimes students think they just need to study study study, shove as much information as possible in, without spending enough time practising applying that information to real questions.
So when it comes to the exam they're not familiar with having to apply what they know to answer specific questions.
I think it's better to allocate more time to thinking about the exam itself, the types of questions you're going to get asked, than trying to remember everything under the sun. Sitting exams is about having a strategy.
Students can study until they are blue in the face, but if they haven't thought about the actual exam they are going to sit, then all that hard work can go to waste.
I'll look forward to hearing how your daughter goes. If you want to get in touch again please don't hesitate.
Thank you. Such wise words. I agree. Thanks again and I’ll let you know how we get on.
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